If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
