he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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