I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
We named our party play list daddy issues
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
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And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
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I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
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