Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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