I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
