it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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