Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Randomize