Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(760): View more from California

i don't like sucking hair

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(614): View more from Ohio

youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?

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(313): View more from Michigan

Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight

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(301): View more from Maryland

I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?

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21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Read it at the TFLN blog
(802): View more from Vermont

Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.

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(501): View more from Arkansas

I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie

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(410): View more from Maryland

Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.

(443): View more from Maryland

Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.

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(618): View more from Illinois

I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.

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