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• (214): View more from Texas

  So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.

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• (562): View more from California

  I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.

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  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (906): View more from Michigan

  Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?

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• (219): View more from Indiana

  about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?

  (219): View more from Indiana

  yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"

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• (313): View more from Michigan

  At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.

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  These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given

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• (573): View more from Missouri

  Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.

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• (315): View more from New York

  she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore

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• (714): View more from California

  I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  I'm turning into an adult here.

  (1-402): View more from Nebraska

  Adults touch each other's special zones.

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• (636): View more from Missouri

  Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work

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