are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.