I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.