I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
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Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
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You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted