Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(870): View more from Arkansas

I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.

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(954): View more from Florida

Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.

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(803): View more from South Carolina

I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.

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(561): View more from Florida

Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(775): View more from Nevada

So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.

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(530): View more from California

My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"

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(619): View more from California

Topless dodge ball cldnt top that

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(614): View more from Ohio

I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.

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(707): View more from California

I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.

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