I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
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