You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
