"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
