I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
