it was like eating out sand paper
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
my liver is dry heaving
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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