Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
These tits shall not be calmed
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
