Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
