census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
