I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize