She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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