Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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