girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
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