wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I want to be your penis for a week.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
