jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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