I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
