Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize