Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
