but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
