i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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