I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
the gays at disneyland are vicious
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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