I wish i was in the wii world.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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