we're chasing vodka with high fives
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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