and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i used baking grease as lip gloss
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize