you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
