Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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