We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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