Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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