I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
