omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
