dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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