it was like his penis was on wheels.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
