dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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