so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
you will always have a special place in my vag
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize
