I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Randomize
