He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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