honey bunches of taint.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.