either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
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