All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
