This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
