the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
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