You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
