This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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