I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
i think my cat just said my name.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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