clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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