Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
