I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
