does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
