if only i could text you this smell
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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