Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
