Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
